Monday, January 16, 2017

A new beginning....

 photo kindness to self_zpsphasr2gy.jpg
Well my darlings, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. I did; one of the best ever. Who would have thought? This time last year life was full of trauma. I suppose much of the last three years have been. I don't mean it's all been bad, heavens no, there have been some beautiful treasured moments. But it hasn't been easy. Now, though, with both Mum and Dad gone and most of the estate  stuff finalised, I've entered a time of respite. A weight has been lifted and (though I feel a little guilt at saying this) I feel relief and a sense of freedom. Don't get me wrong - if there was some magic that would bring my precious Mother back I'd use it in a flash - but there isn't. And I know life is going to keep presenting challenges, but those challenges won't include being a 'daughter' and the expectations that can come with that role. I was raised, like many, in a home where you were expected to think, feel, and behave in a certain way and if you didn't you weren't a 'good' person.  And, of course, none of us as human beings can be 'perfect' so we end up feeling flawed and lacking. So the challenge continues for me in accepting myself and all the things that have happened in my life with kindness. I know I'm not alone in this. More and more I realise that we're all one. Each of us has joys and sorrows. It's the kindness we need to cultivate, for ourselves and others. Blessings to you all in these early days of 2017.

4 comments:

Myrna R. said...

My condolences. I do know what it feels like to feel the grief, the relief and all the mixed emotions after the death of a mother. I've had some challenges this past year too, but hopefully there will be some respite and renewal this new year. May you have a peaceful one. I haven't been as active on my blog or commenting, but glad I checked today and saw you.

Couture Carrie said...

Happy New Year, darling!

xoxox,
CC

Marion said...

Truer words have never been spoken. I really understand what you're saying. I'm sorry for your losses & excited for your sparkling future overflowing with possibility and mystery!!! xo

Imogen said...

Such a true and powerful meaning behind the picture. Wishing you the best for this year. Great to see your posts again.